Do you ever feel you fall short of confidence when you need it the most? At some stage most of us face the need or lack of confidence on a personal or professional level. We might even feel not everyone is born confident or not everyone has it in them to express themselves confidently. But what is confidence? Does it mean just being able to express your thoughts? Is it a reflection of how freely you can talk? How charmingly you carry yourself or the expression of your body language? Does the loudest person in the room is the most confident? Does being cocky or arrogant means, you are confident? Is being loud and clear confident? There are too many questions about the What, Why and How of it. Why is it important? How do we become more confident?
There care a lot of different ways of finding confidence in others and yourself, but I believe it is mostly a perspective thing, yours and theirs. Confidence is self-belief at its best, which not only you will feel but everyone around you will feel it too. It is not measured by picking the loudest, the smartest, the most cocky or arrogant person in the room, but merely just by the feeling or the energy you get from that person. The most common thing we hear people say is I am not confident enough, I am nervous, how do I become more confident? The reality is it is not an overnight transformation, or something that can be taught; confidence is a feeling. For me personally I go through days when I feel like I can win over the world, and there are days I feel like I am not enough. When I feel I can win over the world, and I feel extremely confident about something the next thing I do is that I draw the line between being confident and cocky. It is very easy to cross that line in excitement and excessive self-believe so it’s always good to keep that in check and especially if you know you are more likely to cross it if left unchecked. Then there are days when I feel I am not enough, that is when I work on doing more, knowing more, and feeling more productive and accomplished.
There is something about getting things done or knowing and experiencing more; it makes you more comfortable in your own skin. People say as you get older you start feeling more comfortable in your own skin; I think it’s not the age, its more the experience. The more exposure I get and the more experiences I go through, it makes me more aware, knowledgeable, and most importantly I build more faith in myself. The other observation we made is people mistaking nervousness for lack of confidence. Being nervous is not a bad thing, it merely means you are thinking about that task at a very active level, are focussed on it, and just want to get over with it. I mostly feel nervous before public speaking, or doing something for the first time, however once I get to the point where I am executing or doing that activity, I tell my brain you can totally do this and the next thing I know my nervousness about the task and the feeling of ‘let’s get this over with’ changes into ‘I want to do more of this’ or ‘oh its over already !’
If you want to work on your confidence, the first thing you must do is tell yourself you have it in you. Nobody is perfect, and you are allowed to make mistakes. The people who expose themselves to different possibilities despite of lack of feeling confident, end up being the most confident eventually. Confidence cannot be defined as a single form of clothing; you must customize it with what works for you and looks good on you.
For some people they feel very confident after dressing well, for some it’s when they know everything about a subject, for some it’s when they walk in a specific manner, for some it’s the speed of their talking and expressing; it can be many different things, but your job should be to learn more about yourself. What works for you. The moment you excel at what works for you; you, and everyone around you will feel that confidence in the air. For me personally I am at my most confident when I dress well, I get a chance to express, I have an audience, and when I am doing more. I have always worked on taking these ingredients and working on making the best weapon of confidence that works for me. Some things you can try are, learning more, reading more, dressing or styling what suits you, or make whatever changes you need to if it makes you feel more confident; it can be as simple as getting a new haircut, working on developing new habits, achieving smaller goals to feel accomplished, reading more, learning more, meeting new people, accepting you don’t have to be perfect, or its okay to be you , or for some women heels could do the magic. It’s a process to know yourself and work on your strengths to make you and everyone around you feel the confidence in the room.
There will always be times when you come across overly judgmental people, but another rule of confidence is you don’t ever let anyone bring you down based on their personal opinion or experiences. You must stand your ground, have a growth mindset, take the feedback but do not consider it if it doesn’t align with your ethics and personality. Sometimes we can get too caught up in learning from others and overindulge in the feedback you get from everyone around you that we start losing who we are. The key is to accept who you are before others accept you; for both good and bad. Appreciate your good and work on your weaknesses, but don’t let someone else define what you should be. Confidence comes with self-belief, working on your capabilities and reflecting on your journey. So, the next time you feel if you are confident enough, trust me we all are. It just needs a little nudge to wake up sometimes, it’s right there with you, you must activate it. It is simple.
Comments